为什么送出国的孩子年龄越来越小，为什么中国的父母那么绝望？

卡宴

我小时候哪知道什么是起跑线，不知哪个孙子说了句，“千万别输在起跑线上”，大家就都紧张了。结果起跑线越来越提前，从第一份工作提前到大学，又提前到高中初中小学，又提前到幼儿园、胎教，提前到拼爹，这么下去，得提前到北京猿人。

不是开玩笑，现在的教育问题归根结底和“不要输在起跑线上”有关。以前出国都是工作之后出，后来是国外读研究生，再后来国外读大学，现在是初中高中成群结队地往国外送，生怕送晚了。

前几天，我采访北京一个公立高中的“国际部”，真把我撼到了，每个学生都说将来要出国，美国、英国、澳大利亚……每个孩子都那么笃定。

我清楚记得，那天下午阳光特别好，站我面前的都是少年少女，他们认定美国一切都好！我突然感到阳光暗淡，这批人将来是国家福音还是掘墓人，能指望这批孩子出去后还会想着身后的家国？！

我算笔账，这个高中国际部，一年学费15万，按他招生规模，年收6000万人民币，还是供不应求！和这帮孩子在一起，我真真切切感受到，教育是没有硝烟的战争。

每次听谁谁小孩儿又出去了，我就特别悲凉：他们就这么放弃了国家？而我也在准备，女儿五岁，十年后就是他们中一员，我现在所做的一切，都是为十年后积累。

我的心理魔障

为什么要把孩子送出去？也因为我心理有魔障。我对自己非常失望，我从小没有自我，我对我们的文化，尤其是政治文化失望，几千年来，不懂得对个体价值的尊重。

我这代人认命，但孩子不能认。孩子对我类似宗教，是唯一超越现实、指向未来的可能。我最希望孩子建立快乐健康的人格，有一个明亮温暖的心理底色。

所以女儿襁褓时，我会夜半流泪：她清澈的眼神，怎么面对世界的复杂和污浊？所以我不停奋斗，要给孩子争我这辈子没有的东西，让她接受最好的教育，让她从小就知道个体是什么，自由是什么，平等是什么，做一个真诚快乐不说谎的人。

我们这批父母，是中国5000年来最尊重孩子、在孩子面前最谦卑、最主动约束自己权利的一代人。我们认为自己和孩子在人格上平等，哪怕他是婴儿，也要慎用权利。

有人说我完全没有自我，其实我以前也有理想，但被岁月雨打风吹去，现在是能放弃就放弃，能妥协就妥协，能和理想沾边的，是让孩子实现理想。

不出国行吗？

送孩子出去受教育，因为很多问题解决不了。比如，多少年前就说要进行素质教育，但什么是素质？什么是素质教育？没有谁可以清楚地告诉我，我也不想让女儿当爱因斯坦，但我知道爱因斯坦不仅物理好数学好，小提琴也不错，所以，我让她练琴，而且周围都在练琴。

周围人不仅练琴还学英语呢，四五岁的孩子，母语还学不好干吗学英语？但市场逼着你。孩子说了，“妈妈，小朋友都在学英语，我也去！”我不能跟她说，“按妈妈的价值判断，是不该去的，你应该有一个幸福快乐的童年……”

所谓“自然缺失症”，就是孩子们看不到大自然了，他们生活在水泥森林里，但有什么办法？我们都要讨生活，哪有时间带她去自然，而且哪有不奢侈的自然？

　　

于是她去了，既然学就停不下来，你还要考虑让她养成一个习惯，就是要学会坚持，不能遇到点问题做就停下来……于是，一个又一个家庭，一个又一个孩子，把教育推到这个萧杀的氛围。一定意义上，父母是现有教育的“帮凶”。

其实我作为“帮凶”，从幼儿园就开始了。我女儿当年前连幼儿园都上不了，那年奥运宝宝猪宝宝叠加，满大街都是找不到幼儿园的宝宝，《人民日报》都连发文章批评入托难。临到8 月份我还没找到幼儿园，托人找关系，能托的都托了。

苍天有眼，上了一家有名的公立幼儿园。但到那就绝望了，这什么幼儿园啊，早晚得换！那里的老师太传统了，他们教孩子玩“战争游戏”，让孩子分成两组，玩相互射击，嘴里还要发出“pia ！pia ！”的声音。孩子一回家，就拿手对着我比画，嘴里“pia!pia!”的嘟囔，还问我，“妈，你怎么还不死啊！”一问，幼儿园学的。

这还不是全部，他们从小班升中班要考试，分成普通班和蒙班。四岁啊，干吗把孩子分成三六九等？让一部分孩子从小就觉得自己是甩货？！我女儿没考上蒙班，眼泪围着眼圈，我一咬牙咱换地儿。

我不知道中国有多少家长，被“教育”气得半死。我经常很纳闷，为什么我们这些家长，都知道该怎么尊重孩子的尊严、自由，而最懂教育的老师们，却生活在古代？可以说，教育的主要矛盾，是家长们日益增长的教育知识，和学校落后的教育理念之间的矛盾。这不是幼儿园的问题，是小学初中高中大学的问题……不出国行吗？

我不恨老师

前几天孩子又问我，“妈妈，为什么要有教师节啊？”我想半天说，“因为教师永远都在帮孩子，大家都非常感谢他们，于是所有人认为该给老师弄一个节日”“，那为什么要给老师送礼啊…妈妈，小朋友都送，我也送！”我一下被问住了，“宝贝儿，没事！咱也送！”

别人给我的茶叶，我就送过去。能不送吗？不能，因为老师一个眼神就可以把她“杀死”，在孩子面前，老师是法官是命运主宰是天，他们杀死一个孩子的尊严和信心太容易了。

肯定有人想骂街，但我不恨老师，从根本上说，我们社会的人力资源价格是扭曲的，一个幼儿园老师，市场价格是多少？没人知道，但都知道中国老师的收入，比起国外同行差多了。

　　

这个工资体系，不仅老师，医生法官都有问题，既然阳光下的货币不能弥补，那就得靠灰色货币了。所以，将心比心就没法责怪老师，当你骂老师王八蛋的时候，想想自己有没有干过王八蛋的事？

既然这个规则不是我可以改变，就只有玩好规则：送礼绝不送脑白金，要对每个礼物用尽心思，除了考虑礼物的商品价值，还要考虑怎么才能打动老师。

妥协妥协妥协！苟且苟且苟且！于是大家一起支撑起一个你不满意的现状，还要让孩子不被牺牲掉……累不累？这也是我拼命把孩子送出国的理由，哪怕自己从身到心都已残破，也要加油！等将来和我女儿一起去没人认识的地方净化吧。

接下来，马上孩子要读小学了，我已经准备一笔钱，但往哪里砸、砸给谁还不知道，所以我从去年就开始有组织有预谋地结交新朋友，尤其是教育口的朋友。这又是个复杂的利益体系，还要赚钱再赚钱！说句实话，只要有孩子，中国就不需要维稳，因为家长都在低头赚钱，谁希望国家乱啊！

我还是有盼头的，等她小学毕业，有了生活能力，也许我就可以解脱了，因为可以送她出去了……

（来源网络）

觉得还行

挺实在的， 但在国外， 中国的学生还是受很严重的歧视和欺负。

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